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Twin Flame Test: 20 Signs to Help You Know

Twin Flame Test: 20 Signs to Help You Know
Twin flames experience themselves as One, two halves of the same soul. The feeling of oneness is fantastic, a great bliss that makes everything in your life seem better. It is a love that is deeply spiritual, divinely blessed, meant to be, and fully alive on the emotional, physical, intellectual, sexual and psychic levels. Perhaps you have met someone and are wondering if this person is your twin flame. Here is a 20-item twin flame test that will quickly help you to decide.
How to Score: If you agree with the statement, give the relationship one point.
Twin Flame Test #1 You both feel like you have known each other forever. This can occur in your very first interaction!
RELATED POST: TWIN FLAME LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Twin Flame Test #2 Both of you have this profound sense of coming home when you are with this person. You feel relaxed and like they are family.
Twin Flame Test #3 You both feel like you were born to love each other. There is a sense of destiny to the relationship.
Twin Flame Test #4 He or she completes you at the deepest level, makes you whole again in a way that no one else can. The relationship feels different than any other. Not out of neediness but that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Twin Flame Test #5 You both feel a special bond that is more intense than any connection you have ever felt before. The relationship feels like the most important one of your life.
Twin Flame Test # 6 Both of you can be fully real and authentic. You can deeply feel your feelings and share even your most private thoughts.
Twin Flame Test # 7 Often you both have the same thoughts, reactions and feelings to things. Your partner may just come out and say exactly what you are thinking. A mind-meld, as it were.
Twin Flame Test # 8 There seems to be a psychic connection. You can sense your partner psychically—know what they are thinking, what they are feeling, or if they are having a problem.
Twin Flame Test #9 There are signs and synchronicities in your relationship. For example, one of our clients managed to message and engage her twin flame on Match.com, even after he deactivated his account!
Twin Flame Test #10 There is an overwhelming pull to be together, to be in each other’s presence, to be intimate, to be fully sexual. It is almost like a magnetic or gravitational attraction that is overpowering.
Twin Flame Test #11 Often both of you are focused on the other. You plan and dream for and with each other.
Twin Flame Test #12 Your partner often knows what you really need before you do. And he or she is happy to fill those needs. For example, he can tell if you need to eat before you realize it. And he delights in getting you a great meal.
Twin Flame Test #13 When you make love you can telepathically please each other. For example, you may be kissing and wanting to be stroked in a certain juicy area of your body, and without you saying anything, your partner does it perfectly!
Twin Flame Test #14 When you make love, lust and love commingle together and it is exquisite on every level. Which means that making love with your twin flame is light years away from having sex with anyone else, even if that other person is a hottie. And this strong chemistry does NOT diminish over time.
Twin Flame Test #15 You feel like you simply can’t live without your partner. You cannot imagine your life without them. And just thinking about losing your twin flame is painful to the point of being unbearable.
RELATED POST: CAN TWIN FLAMES FALL OUT OF LOVE?
Twin Flame Test #16 If you break up with your partner you feel like you want to die. Because this person is like the other half of you, when you lose them, you may get extremely depressed. Please note, if this is happening to you right now, definitely seek help. Have a free coaching session to help you deal with the situation.
Twin Flame Test #17 The bond you share is so powerful that it fuels commitment to work on the..

read more
Twin Flame Test: 20 Signs to Help You Know

Twin Flame Test: 20 Signs to Help You Know

Twin Flame Test: 20 Signs to Help You Know
Twin flames experience themselves as One, two halves of the same soul. The feeling of oneness is fantastic, a great bliss that makes everything in your life seem better. It is a love that is deeply spiritual, divinely blessed, meant to be, and fully alive on the emotional, physical, intellectual, sexual and psychic levels. Perhaps you have met someone and are wondering if this person is your twin flame. Here is a 20-item twin flame test that will quickly help you to decide.
How to Score: If you agree with the statement, give the relationship one point.
Twin Flame Test #1 You both feel like you have known each other forever. This can occur in your very first interaction!
RELATED POST: TWIN FLAME LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Twin Flame Test #2 Both of you have this profound sense of coming home when you are with this person. You feel relaxed and like they are family.
Twin Flame Test #3 You both feel like you were born to love each other. There is a sense of destiny to the relationship.
Twin Flame Test #4 He or she completes you at the deepest level, makes you whole again in a way that no one else can. The relationship feels different than any other. Not out of neediness but that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Twin Flame Test #5 You both feel a special bond that is more intense than any connection you have ever felt before. The relationship feels like the most important one of your life.
Twin Flame Test # 6 Both of you can be fully real and authentic. You can deeply feel your feelings and share even your most private thoughts.
Twin Flame Test # 7 Often you both have the same thoughts, reactions and feelings to things. Your partner may just come out and say exactly what you are thinking. A mind-meld, as it were.
Twin Flame Test # 8 There seems to be a psychic connection. You can sense your partner psychically—know what they are thinking, what they are feeling, or if they are having a problem.
Twin Flame Test #9 There are signs and synchronicities in your relationship. For example, one of our clients managed to message and engage her twin flame on Match.com, even after he deactivated his account!
Twin Flame Test #10 There is an overwhelming pull to be together, to be in each other’s presence, to be intimate, to be fully sexual. It is almost like a magnetic or gravitational attraction that is overpowering.
Twin Flame Test #11 Often both of you are focused on the other. You plan and dream for and with each other.
Twin Flame Test #12 Your partner often knows what you really need before you do. And he or she is happy to fill those needs. For example, he can tell if you need to eat before you realize it. And he delights in getting you a great meal.
Twin Flame Test #13 When you make love you can telepathically please each other. For example, you may be kissing and wanting to be stroked in a certain juicy area of your body, and without you saying anything, your partner does it perfectly!
Twin Flame Test #14 When you make love, lust and love commingle together and it is exquisite on every level. Which means that making love with your twin flame is light years away from having sex with anyone else, even if that other person is a hottie. And this strong chemistry does NOT diminish over time.
Twin Flame Test #15 You feel like you simply can’t live without your partner. You cannot imagine your life without them. And just thinking about losing your twin flame is painful to the point of being unbearable.
RELATED POST: CAN TWIN FLAMES FALL OUT OF LOVE?
Twin Flame Test #16 If you break up with your partner you feel like you want to die. Because this person is like the other half of you, when you lose them, you may get extremely depressed. Please note, if this is happening to you right now, definitely seek help. Have a free coaching session to help you deal with the situation.
Twin Flame Test #17 The bond you share is so powerful that it fuels commitment to work on the..

read more

Say Goodbye to Self Doubt About Finding True Love

Say Goodbye to Self Doubt About Finding True Love
Here’s a true story about one successful woman’s journey from self-doubt in dating to finding true soulmate love. Lila, a highly accomplished forty-year-old pediatric nurse, had been through a heart-wrenching divorce.
Lila Shares Her Journey My 15-year marriage had ended. And there I was three years later, unhinged and afraid to jump into dating. I had an extra 35 pounds of pudge rolling around my middle, a resentful mood and some very serious issues about being over the hill and unattractive. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I was starting to see the rotund shape of my mother. Which only made me want to eat more. My drug of choice: coffee Häagen-Dazs. Then because of the extra weight I developed a back problem and couldn’t exercise—I was sinking into fat city fast. I would say to my best friend, “Men want thinner women,” “I’m too old!” Meanwhile I was truly lonely. I had always suffered from self-doubt when it came to men, but I was beginning to feel immobilized by it.
Then I began seeing one of Dr. Diana’s coaches and saw that I was operating from a negative identity, “Unlovable Lila.” I felt very stuck in that old sense of self, but I forced myself to do what Dr. Diana calls Diamond Self work, focusing on what was attractive and lovable in my nature and renaming myself “Perfectly Lovable Lila”! It felt embarrassing at first, but I ditched the sweats, got a makeover, and put my best self out there. Each day I used the process and out would pop the playful engaging me, the person that expressed the passionate curious nature I had as a child.
Lila Reinvents Herself Lila continues: It has been a year since Perfectly Lovable Lila was reborn and I have to say that this is definitely one of the happiest times in my life. Even though I never lost that extra weight, almost every man I meet asks me out. And three different men have asked me to be exclusive! I feel great. I feel special. And empowered. I even asked for a new position more suited to my interests in pediatric oncology and received a raise at work. All thanks to the magic of the Diamond Self work. I am so grateful.
Lila was able to reinvent herself so that she released self-doubt about her ability to find love and became happier, more confident and better than ever. She created a vibrant dating life with great guys. All without losing any of the newly packed-on weight that seemed to stand in her way.
Impressive enough. But Lila also moved from a state of feeling isolated, and lonely to feeling inner strength, joy, and feminine connection. All within one year. Eventually, she went from dating three guys to settling down with one special guy. How did Lila take this journey from self-doubt about her femininity to celebrating it? Through what I call the Diamond Self process.
The Diamond Self Process to Break Free of Self-Doubt The Diamond Self (DS) Process is a new approach that allows you to give yourself instructions about who you want to be. Precise instructions that help you create inner strength, self-love, feminine empowerment, and greater confidence in every area of your life. Because it is aimed at the internal world, your mind and spirit, the DS process brings you greater fulfillment without having to struggle so much with obstacles in the real world. It helps you create unconditional acceptance, love, and validation for yourself as an attractive woman. And true confidence.
I can tell you that I have been 100 percent astonished at all the things I have been able to create using the DS approach. My childhood experiences worked against me—I was born as an unwanted fifth daughter to a family that only valued and wanted boys. I used to weep about my parents’ misfortune in being stuck with me, another crummy, useless girl. As a young child I experienced myself as a major disappointment, a waste, a person who did not deserve to be alive. My early identity was that of being unwanted, worthless, a goo..

read more
Say Goodbye to Self Doubt About Finding True Love

Say Goodbye to Self Doubt About Finding True Love

Say Goodbye to Self Doubt About Finding True Love
Here’s a true story about one successful woman’s journey from self-doubt in dating to finding true soulmate love. Lila, a highly accomplished forty-year-old pediatric nurse, had been through a heart-wrenching divorce.
Lila Shares Her Journey My 15-year marriage had ended. And there I was three years later, unhinged and afraid to jump into dating. I had an extra 35 pounds of pudge rolling around my middle, a resentful mood and some very serious issues about being over the hill and unattractive. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I was starting to see the rotund shape of my mother. Which only made me want to eat more. My drug of choice: coffee Häagen-Dazs. Then because of the extra weight I developed a back problem and couldn’t exercise—I was sinking into fat city fast. I would say to my best friend, “Men want thinner women,” “I’m too old!” Meanwhile I was truly lonely. I had always suffered from self-doubt when it came to men, but I was beginning to feel immobilized by it.
Then I began seeing one of Dr. Diana’s coaches and saw that I was operating from a negative identity, “Unlovable Lila.” I felt very stuck in that old sense of self, but I forced myself to do what Dr. Diana calls Diamond Self work, focusing on what was attractive and lovable in my nature and renaming myself “Perfectly Lovable Lila”! It felt embarrassing at first, but I ditched the sweats, got a makeover, and put my best self out there. Each day I used the process and out would pop the playful engaging me, the person that expressed the passionate curious nature I had as a child.
Lila Reinvents Herself Lila continues: It has been a year since Perfectly Lovable Lila was reborn and I have to say that this is definitely one of the happiest times in my life. Even though I never lost that extra weight, almost every man I meet asks me out. And three different men have asked me to be exclusive! I feel great. I feel special. And empowered. I even asked for a new position more suited to my interests in pediatric oncology and received a raise at work. All thanks to the magic of the Diamond Self work. I am so grateful.
Lila was able to reinvent herself so that she released self-doubt about her ability to find love and became happier, more confident and better than ever. She created a vibrant dating life with great guys. All without losing any of the newly packed-on weight that seemed to stand in her way.
Impressive enough. But Lila also moved from a state of feeling isolated, and lonely to feeling inner strength, joy, and feminine connection. All within one year. Eventually, she went from dating three guys to settling down with one special guy. How did Lila take this journey from self-doubt about her femininity to celebrating it? Through what I call the Diamond Self process.
The Diamond Self Process to Break Free of Self-Doubt The Diamond Self (DS) Process is a new approach that allows you to give yourself instructions about who you want to be. Precise instructions that help you create inner strength, self-love, feminine empowerment, and greater confidence in every area of your life. Because it is aimed at the internal world, your mind and spirit, the DS process brings you greater fulfillment without having to struggle so much with obstacles in the real world. It helps you create unconditional acceptance, love, and validation for yourself as an attractive woman. And true confidence.
I can tell you that I have been 100 percent astonished at the life I’ve created using the DS approach. My childhood experiences worked against me—I was born as an unwanted fifth daughter to a family that only valued and wanted boys. I used to weep about my parents’ misfortune in being stuck with me, another crummy, useless girl. As a young child I experienced myself as a major disappointment, a person who did not deserve to be alive. I felt so worthless that I became so shy to the point of being mute. My father often called..

read more

12 Signs He Will Eventually Commit

12 Signs He Will Eventually Commit
Are you wondering , What are the signs he will eventually commit? Perhaps you’ve met the One only to see him come on like gangbusters, but then pull back for no apparent reason. So that all of a sudden, everything becomes murky and uncertain in terms of your relationship. Are you a couple or not? Has he met someone else? Why is he running hot and cold? Do you have a future together? Should you have “the talk” about where things stand? And you wonder, are there definite signs that reveal he will eventually commit?
Maybe you tend to be involved with a guy for a few months and then he always falls away mysteriously, leaving you alone. Maybe you have been with a guy for 10 years who brings over the chicken soup when you are sick, is there whenever you need him, yet is completely unavailable for building a lasting relationship or family. Or maybe you are in a long term on-again, off-again relationship where one or the other of you periodically withdraws or sees other people.
Have you ever been involved and in love with one man for months, or even years, only to find that he simply cannot or will not take that next step into living together or marriage? Instead, he gets irritated, distant, angry or simply hits the highway if there is any talk of sharing a future together? Let’s first look at the telling signs that show he probably won’t commit:
Typical Signs He Will Eventually (NOT) Commit 1) Meet guy.
2) Guy comes on strong, with loving words, deeds, gifts.
3) You decide he is different, the real deal.
4) Things get even better inside and outside the bedroom.
5) You start planning for a future with him.
6) Guy retreats, acts distant or annoyed.
7) You are frightened and try harder.
8) Guy tells you he does not have the time or energy or is not be ready for a relationship.
9) You are caught in a maze of unanswered questions, anxiety, heartbreak and sad desperate feelings.
Yes, I know, it’s a downer, but you might feel better knowing that variations of this story have happened to me and pretty much every woman I know. You are definitely not alone. We have all been there. Yet, there is a definite path to freeing yourself from all these painful patterns, from the guys who turn out to be jerks and need to be cut free.
RELATED POSTS: WHAT DO TO WHEN HE WON’T COMMIT
So here are 12 signs he eventually will commit. They will help reveal if you are dealing with a forever soulmate or not!
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #1 He comes from an intact family where both of his parents are together. This factor has been shown to be important in terms of a man’s ability to marry or make a lifelong commitment.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #2 He has a religious or spiritual practice. Once again—research bears out that he is more likely to commit.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #3 He makes positive statements about marriage and relationships! Obviously, if he views relationships as unsatisfying and soul-sucking, he will not be eager to commit to you.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #4 There is regular, consistent contact him that gets better over time. This includes texts, calls, dates and, as the relationship progresses extended periods of time or trips taken together as a couple.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #5 You have chemistry with him. While it doesn’t have to be insane off the charts electricity, there has to be some sexy vibes between you that lead to satisfying sex on both sides
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #6 He wants to be exclusive. He will want to stop seeing other women as he falls more deeply in love with you.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #7 He is growing more attentive to your needs, thoughts and feelings. As it becomes clear to him that you are the One, he will be courting and pleasing you more.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #8 He wants you to: (a) sleep over; or (b) leave some of your things at his apartment. This shows that he wants you in his daily lif..

read more
12 Signs He Will Eventually Commit

12 Signs He Will Eventually Commit

12 Signs He Will Eventually Commit
Are you wondering , What are the signs he will eventually commit? Perhaps you’ve met the One only to see him come on like gangbusters, but then pull back for no apparent reason. So that all of a sudden, everything becomes murky and uncertain in terms of your relationship. Are you a couple or not? Has he met someone else? Why is he running hot and cold? Do you have a future together? Should you have “the talk” about where things stand? And you wonder, are there definite signs that reveal he will eventually commit?
Maybe you tend to be involved with a guy for a few months and then he always falls away mysteriously, leaving you alone. Maybe you have been with a guy for 10 years who brings over the chicken soup when you are sick, is there whenever you need him, yet is completely unavailable for building a lasting relationship or family. Or maybe you are in a long term on-again, off-again relationship where one or the other of you periodically withdraws or sees other people.
Have you ever been involved and in love with one man for months, or even years, only to find that he simply cannot or will not take that next step into living together or marriage? Instead, he gets irritated, distant, angry or simply hits the highway if there is any talk of sharing a future together? Let’s first look at the telling signs that show he probably won’t commit:
Typical Signs He Will Eventually (NOT) Commit 1) Meet guy.
2) Guy comes on strong, with loving words, deeds, gifts.
3) You decide he is different, the real deal.
4) Things get even better inside and outside the bedroom.
5) You start planning for a future with him.
6) Guy retreats, acts distant or annoyed.
7) You are frightened and try harder.
8) Guy tells you he does not have the time or energy or is not be ready for a relationship.
9) You are caught in a maze of unanswered questions, anxiety, heartbreak and sad desperate feelings.
Yes, I know, it’s a downer, but you might feel better knowing that variations of this story have happened to me and pretty much every woman I know. You are definitely not alone. We have all been there. Yet, there is a definite path to freeing yourself from all these painful patterns, from the guys who turn out to be jerks and need to be cut free.
RELATED POSTS: WHAT DO TO WHEN HE WON’T COMMIT
So here are 12 signs he eventually will commit. They will help reveal if you are dealing with a forever soulmate or not!
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #1 He comes from an intact family where both of his parents are together. This factor has been shown to be important in terms of a man’s ability to marry or make a lifelong commitment.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #2 He has a religious or spiritual practice. Once again—research bears out that he is more likely to commit.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #3 He makes positive statements about marriage and relationships! Obviously, if he views relationships as unsatisfying and soul-sucking, he will not be eager to commit to you.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #4 There is regular, consistent contact him that gets better over time. This includes texts, calls, dates and, as the relationship progresses extended periods of time or trips taken together as a couple.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #5 You have chemistry with him. While it doesn’t have to be insane off the charts electricity, there has to be some sexy vibes between you that lead to satisfying sex on both sides
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #6 He wants to be exclusive. He will want to stop seeing other women as he falls more deeply in love with you.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #7 He is growing more attentive to your needs, thoughts and feelings. As it becomes clear to him that you are the One, he will be courting and pleasing you more.
Signs He Will Eventually Commit #8 He wants you to: (a) sleep over; or (b) leave some of your things at his apartment. This shows that he wants you in his daily lif..

read more
Consummate Love: How Couples Keep Passion Burning

Consummate Love: How Couples Keep Passion Burning

Consummate Love: How Couples Keep Passion Burning
Like a crusader, I’ve dedicated the last 30+ years of my life to finding the holy grail of consummate love. Armed with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, I realized success leaves secrets. This is why I went on my own personal journey of demystifying the elusive mystery of finding real and lasting consummate love.
While on this journey I studied happy couples (hard to find, but I did) and apprenticed with mentors, other psychologists and self-help gurus so I could find the secret dynamics that make love work. And in the end I was able to distill out four key practices that are crucial in keeping love alive.
These are the practices I’ve used in my own lab, my marriage, that have allowed my husband, Sam, and I to weather the family upsets, disappointments, setbacks, losses and other slings and arrows that most couples face. I’ve also used these powerful practices to help thousands of other couples create a lasting consummate love relationship.
What is Consummate Love? The psychologist, Robert Sternberg coined the term consummate love to describe relationships that have all three elements of a successful, healthy and lasting passionate bond. These three elements are intimacy, passion and commitment. In consummate love relationships, the three key components grow over time and don’t diminish. The big question is, how do we get this process to come alive in our own relationships? How do we use action steps to put them into practice?
There are four action steps to a lasting passionate consummate love and to your own happily-ever-after: 1) Spending Time Alone as A Couple; 2) Holding Listening Sessions; 3) Planning for Sex; and, 4) Committing to and Actively Promoting Each Other’s Growth.
Consummate Love Action 1: Spending Time Alone As A Couple Builds Intimacy Research shows that couples who report the highest level of intimacy spend the most amount of time alone together. This means no kids, no friends, no family, no long cell calls other digital distractions: just the two of you.
Sam and I were juggling private practices and running a therapy center and post-graduate training institute in the early years of our marriage. Needless to say, at the end of the day we were ready to fall into bed and it sure wasn’t for sex! Weekends were spent zooming around on errands and the kids’ play dates and activities. But we knew the dangers of continuing on this path.
How We Improved Our Intimacy We permanently set aside Alone Time twice a week for us, once during the day and once at night. We hired a permanent babysitter and back-up for those times. And for an unbroken string of years, we have kept that time sacred, no matter what. It’s been the bedrock that holds us together as best friends.
Consummate Love Action 2: Holding Listening Sessions Research shows that couples build intimacy through effective communication. And at the heart of effective communication is the ability to listen to your partner without judgment. When Sam and I met we were psych grad students, rivals for the same stipends and awards. We were young know-it-alls for whom listening was a foreign ritual. This meant we were drifting farther and farther apart.
What We Practice We scheduled formal Ten Minute Listening Sessions with each other every other day. In these sessions, one person gets to talk, free associate, say whatever is on their minds while the other SIMPLY LISTENS with full attention. The listener does not speak. No matter what, we used a clock and honored a full ten minute session.
Anything that was said in that time was sacred and could not be brought up during an argument! Sam and I still use these sessions to get to know each other all over again. Mind reading doesn’t work. You never really know your partner’s world until you listen. Listening artfully and with dedication is a prelude to lasting intimacy.
Consummate Love Action 3: Planning for Sex Builds Life-Long Passion Sex releases oxytocin..

read more

Consummate Love: How Couples Keep Passion Burning

Consummate Love: How Couples Keep Passion Burning
Like a crusader, I’ve dedicated the last 30+ years of my life to finding the holy grail of consummate love. Armed with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, I realized success leaves secrets. This is why I went on my own personal journey of demystifying the elusive mystery of finding real and lasting consummate love.
While on this journey I studied happy couples (hard to find, but I did) and apprenticed with mentors, other psychologists and self-help gurus so I could find the secret dynamics that make love work. And in the end I was able to distill out four key practices that are crucial in keeping love alive.
These are the practices I’ve used in my own lab, my marriage, that have allowed my husband, Sam, and I to weather the family upsets, disappointments, setbacks, losses and other slings and arrows that most couples face. I’ve also used these powerful practices to help thousands of other couples create a lasting consummate love relationship.
What is Consummate Love? The psychologist, Robert Sternberg coined the term consummate love to describe relationships that have all three elements of a successful, healthy and lasting passionate bond. These three elements are intimacy, passion and commitment. In consummate love relationships, the three key components grow over time and don’t diminish. The big question is, how do we get this process to come alive in our own relationships? How do we use action steps to put them into practice?
There are four action steps to a lasting passionate consummate love and to your own happily-ever-after: 1) Spending Time Alone as A Couple; 2) Holding Listening Sessions; 3) Planning for Sex; and, 4) Committing to and Actively Promoting Each Other’s Growth.
Consummate Love Action 1: Spending Time Alone As A Couple Builds Intimacy Research shows that couples who report the highest level of intimacy spend the most amount of time alone together. This means no kids, no friends, no family, no long cell calls other digital distractions: just the two of you.
Sam and I were juggling private practices and running a therapy center and post-graduate training institute in the early years of our marriage. Needless to say, at the end of the day we were ready to fall into bed and it sure wasn’t for sex! Weekends were spent zooming around on errands and the kids’ play dates and activities. But we knew the dangers of continuing on this path.
How We Improved Our Intimacy We permanently set aside Alone Time twice a week for us, once during the day and once at night. We hired a permanent babysitter and back-up for those times. And for an unbroken string of years, we have kept that time sacred, no matter what. It’s been the bedrock that holds us together as best friends.
Consummate Love Action 2: Holding Listening Sessions Research shows that couples build intimacy through effective communication. And at the heart of effective communication is the ability to listen to your partner without judgment. When Sam and I met we were psych grad students, rivals for the same stipends and awards. We were young know-it-alls for whom listening was a foreign ritual. This meant we were drifting farther and farther apart.
What We Practice We scheduled formal Ten Minute Listening Sessions with each other every other day. In these sessions, one person gets to talk, free associate, say whatever is on their minds while the other SIMPLY LISTENS with full attention. The listener does not speak. No matter what, we used a clock and honored a full ten minute session.
Anything that was said in that time was sacred and could not be brought up during an argument! Sam and I still use these sessions to get to know each other all over again. Mind reading doesn’t work. You never really know your partner’s world until you listen. Listening artfully and with dedication is a prelude to lasting intimacy.
Consummate Love Action 3: Planning for Sex Builds Life-Long Passion Sex releases oxytocin..

read more

Happiness is not by chance, but by choice.

— Jim Rohn

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